Monday, August 2, 2010
My little red ropers
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Who You Are
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Who are you?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
remember that post about dreams?
Friday, June 25, 2010
oh the insanity
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
the newbie
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
adults are liars
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
still chasing
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
parenthood
So, the husband and I got a dog.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
would you be you if ...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
i'm back
Monday, March 22, 2010
Lessons on being resilient
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Lessons on being resourceful
Monday, March 1, 2010
God
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
When you become the person you've been running from
Housewife. Business owner.
I always wanted one and ran from the other. You've got a 50/50 shot at which was which.
I never thought the two would ever coincide. My goal wasn't to come up with a business that could be reflected in a stereotypical female role. I was going to play a man's game in a man's world. Which, left no room for things like baking and cleaning house. I never pretended I could be super woman, so I chose one and ran with it while running from the other.
The sweet smell of a freshly dry cleaned suit, stillettoe pumps and a leather satchel... Ahhhh.
But I've found myself in a rather awkward position: working from home.
Yes. That means I've taken to baking and cooking more in between research and meetings. And while I'm doing it, I have to admit it feels liberating. Not super tasty quite yet... But liberating nonetheless to try something so unnatural and new.
When it's just me and my wisk... I own it. And when I'm alone ... you may even catch me with a smile on my face while I watch the batter rise or the chicken brown.
The second vince (or anyone else walks in for that matter) the gig is up. This isn't comfortable for me. I haven't practiced this part. My natural position ... In a conference room. Not behind the stove. And I've made that very clear. You know ... so that there is no confusion that I'm not like other people. (because apparently that has been super important to me)
So. When any mention of how I can improve comes up, or even suggestions for maximizing efficency (which i usually appreciate) ... I lose it. I feel entirely too vulnerable. Naked. Completely exposed to the world that I'm just like every other woman to ever fall blindly into their 'role.' And I am reminded that I'm not particularly good at this... At least not yet. And the truth ... I hate being a weak link.
So, in my mental panic and after I've made a complete fool of myself (and perhaps even burnt something), I remember that I have a choice. I can either define what this whole being a woman, nearly married with a career ahead of her looks like. Or I can live in the fear that I will become ... A stereotype that was probably defined in the first place by people who haven't a clue to begin with and just like seeing girls like me freak out on a regular basis.
Tonight, I chose first to retaliate in fear.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
do you feel taller?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
being human
[This from Anne Jackson's website -- guest blogger Seth Godin.]
Why is it so difficult to be human?
What does it mean to be human anyway?
A key part of being a real person – a human being – is showing up, especially when it’s difficult, particularly when it’s frightening to do so.
Showing up counts for a lot. Why? Because it’s scarce.
Someone who will comfort you on the phone in the middle of the night, then throw on a bathrobe and drive to your house. That’s precious.
Someone who tells you the truth.
Someone who exposes herself, is present, connected and willing to let you hurt them.
These are the things we seek out as people, and yet we rarely find them. And yet we are rarely willing to be this person.
We built institutions, organizations and religions to make it easy to avoid being this person. The rules and principles and jobs and buildings and code words and admonitions… they all exist to protect us from the truths we’re afraid of and from the interactions we’d rather not have.
They organize us, and organization is a wonderful way to be protected.
We go to work and we hide. We hide behind the religion of our brand or our team or our Dunder-Mifflin employee manual. We go to a foreign country and we play tourist, because actually going there is too difficult, too risky, to exposed.
Showing up counts for a lot.
When we show up, we connect, we make change, we are transparent, and yes, we’re human.
Caring hurts sometimes, and that’s inconvenient.
The good news is that more than ever, value accrues to those that show up, those that make a difference, those that do work that matters.
The good news is that digging deep and fighting that voice that begs us to shut up instead of show up really pays off now, in more ways than we can count.
Faith in yourself, in your friends, in your colleagues and most of all, faith in your ability to impact our future is the best strategy I know.
—-
Seth Godin’s new book LINCHPIN comes out today. It’s about art and gifts and connection and making a difference. And you should really read it because it’s really great
Friday, January 15, 2010
new ventures
I loved being able to have the vantage point from the glass wall of their loft looking over the shop. There was something inspiring about the work that happened from their chairs that was somehow translated to the work happening below.
I would always go down to the shop and get a glass bottle of Coke from the old vending machine. My uncle and father's offices were out there and it was always an adventure to weave in and out of sheet metal sparks to the plumbing sparks where I'd find dad and uncle Chris working on, yet another, side project after hours.
Between the smell of grease and sweat of that shop and the scent of burned coffee and stale air in the office, I became passionate about business. And I'm not sure I realized how much that impacted me until this past month ...
It began with an email from my grandfather late one evening that said the gentleman who had bought his company had been found dead at his home.
Monday, January 11, 2010
napping
Seemingly so many pressures. Countless decisions to be made that may or may not lead us in the right trajectory to be successful 30-somethings. Not to mention feeling like everyone else around us is getting all these opportunities to do what we could only hope to do at some point in our careers.
It's exhausting. And ultimately discouraging if you think about it for too long. But after a few conversations this weekend, I feel more hopeful about the future of my friend's careers. No, not mine, but certainly other people's. And while I hold up hope for them, it may bode me well to follow the advice below for my own internal quarter life crisis:
We are the strivingest people who have ever lived. We are ambitious, time-starved, competitive, distracted. We move at full velocity, yet constantly fear we are not doing enough. Though we live longer than any humans before
us, our lives feel shorter, restless, breathless...
Dear ones, EASE UP. Pump the brakes. Take a step back. Seriously. Take two steps back. Turn off all your electronics and surrender over all your aspirations and do absolutely nothing for a spell. I know, I know – we all need to save the world. But trust me: The world will still need saving tomorrow. In the meantime, you’re going
to have a stroke soon (or cause a stroke in somebody else) if you don’t calm the hell down.
So go take a walk. Or don’t. Consider actually exhaling. Find a body of water and float. Hit a tennis ball against a wall. Tell your colleagues that you’re off meditating (people take meditation seriously, so you’ll be absolved from guilt) and then actually, secretly, nap.
My radical suggestion? Cease participation, if only for one day this year – if only to make sure that we don’t lose forever the rare and vanishing human talent of appreciating ease. Elizabeth Gilbert
I'll admit that my natural response would be, "There are plenty of people in this world taking naps. I, on the other hand, have work to do. You with me?" But lately, I'm kind-of feeling (and hoping) she's right. Would it KILL me to calm the hell down? I mean, really. Would it kill any of us 20-somethings to just exhale for a second and realize we're doing ok ... honestly. We aren't failures.
Maybe we could try and enjoy what we've got now ... because something tells me our idea of "making it" may not be a walk in the park either.
So. Here's to naps and actually breathing ... you know ... the inhaling AND exhaling kind.
Friday, January 8, 2010
imagination station
I've lost the imaginative spirit I once had as a child and I'd like to reclaim it.
We can all agree that proper schooling and societal pressures have caused most of us to forgo colored pencils and opt for spread sheets and mahogany desks. Even some of the bohemians out there feel that their creativity has become stifled by clients who can't seem to catch the vision.
None of this really occurred to me until I watched Avatar.
I know. I know. Another post on movies ... in particular one of the most talked about films of 2009. But hear me out.
As I sat in the theater I found myself, on multiple occasions, completely lost in the world James Cameron and his technologically inclined friends created. I wanted to be there. And for a few moments I was so captivated that I actually thought that world existed.
When I snapped out of it, I was pretty irritated. Not just because I had to face a reality void of floating jelly fish things and surfaces that light up at the touch, but because I haven't (even in the depths of my imagination) come close to an imaginary life like that since I was in grade school. And let's be honest ... even then I usually dreamed of castles, motes and cool dresses.
Even worse, my imagination a few years ago of the life I'd have today was nothing more than a block buster rom-com script in which I would (hopefully) play the leading lady.
I mean, really? Is that honestly the best I could do with a brain capable of so much more? Let me tell you, my life is so much cooler than any Meg Ryan script I dreamed of years ago. So why haven't I unleashed my imagination to the possibilities of what the next few years may look like?
I realized after my Avatar experience, that there is something kind-of deep happening here.
1. I feel guilty for dreaming of too great of a life (or having too great of a life, for that matter) because so many others don't.
2. I don't really believe those things are meant for someone like me ...
3. Even if I let myself go crazy and "dream" ... it doesn't go much farther than the best of what has already been done.
I'm tired of only imagining a life of greater possibility within the confines of what already exists. What if the life I want to create for myself ... a life that lets me be the truest of who I am ... hasn't been created yet? What if it's my job to dream it up ... to imagine it? And to create a space for others to join with me in the process of creating a future full of possibilities that go beyond the genius of Apple's products, Google's workspace and even James Cameron's Avatar ...
I'm a little rusty at this, so it'll definitely take practice, but I'm thinking 2010 will be full of possibilities for me that I've never considered. And even if they don't come into fruition ... I'll at least have a happy place that will keep me hopeful until something does!