I've been processing a lot lately. In fact, I haven't posted an entry because my head is experiencing a sensory overload and only fragments of sentence structures are being produced.
Today, however, I have something to say. Something that has come about after weeks of internal conflict and absolute torture. So here goes ... the question I'm not even sure I'm ready to answer quite yet ...
If I took away everything that defines me (my leadership roles, my job, my music, my accolades), would what's left be enough?
Even more terrifying than perhaps the answer that I'm leaning towards ... Do I believe that others would be drawn to me, love me or invests their time in me if all that existed was the remainder? The heart. The soul. Just me.
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7 comments:
Just my simplistic reaction as your post popped up in my google reader :) - but I think the list of things that "define you" come from the "what would be left". That maybe you have those roles because of your soul, your heart, just you", and that taking them away would maybe be nothing more than clearing an area for something new to also grow as fruit from "who you really are".
This thought process will take you far, you just have to remind yourself every day that who you are, without all of the incredible things you do is just as incredible.
OK, so right after I read this entry, I had to drive across town. I was listening to a talk by John Ortberg while driving. Here's a quote from him that jumped out at me:
"It's helpful to think of our mission as something more than just what we are trying to accomplish. If we think that we exist only to achieve a purpose, not only does it create in us a kind of workaholism, but it also fosters a kind of narcissism." Speaking about his own kids, he says, "I don't want them to always think of themselves as accomplishment machines. Deeper than that, they are human beings of immense value simply because they are alive. And part of their mission is to live really fully. So if I think of my mission in a way that is deeper than just accomplishing, I am likely to be a lot healthier with it."
Seems like it fits your question. :)
hey krysta:
kim bontrager sent me to you... and are you the krysta that commented on Anne Jackson's page? either way, i'm real interested in some women in worship conversations! i'll be checking your blog more & more
blessings
mandy
blendingworship.wordpress.com is my worship leading blog....
Krysta, it's interesting to read what you think "defines you." The things you listed don't define you, they merely "flavor" you - it's how you personally live out the command to be salty.
i'm a huge fan of candi pearson... that chick rocks.
but does she have a blog?
lemme know!
thx!
mandy
You're not a 'bff' because of your talents and accomplishments. You're a bff in spite of that.
What I'm trying to say is that when the name 'Krysta' comes to mind, a singer, leader and businesswoman isn't thought of. Your driven character, your strength, your passion for God, your courage, your friendship, all to say the absolute least... that's what matters.
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