Thursday, March 27, 2008

i was telling my roommate about my workplace woes last night and i kept hearing myself say, "ugh ... they have so much potential. this could be a really great job for me if they would just actualize the potential they have ..."

she said, "that's the shadow side of your maximizer strength."

even passion and a desire for something better can be detrimental, apparently.

now if i could just figure out how to walk away from this place without feeling like i'm giving up on an opportunity to make an impact.

or, better yet, if i could just figure out how to walk away knowing that i wasn't the right person to bring the change that i saw so clearly. this would be the perfect opportunity to believe the lie that i am not good enough ...

my how innovative the Enemy is with dangling that in my face.
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1 comment:

Korey said...

Oh no no no, stop it.

So obviously I've worked there, too. And from the first day I met you I believed you sincerely when you told me that you can make your job into the job you want by encouraging them to use you to the extent of your potential. "And if they don't change?" I asked. "Then they aren't people you want to work for." I happen to believe that you are the perfect person for initiating change there, and I also happen to think that no one else, even with the skills to make some of the necessary changes, would have the passion that you do. You care. That is the vital ingredient that I believe no one else could have in your position. My fear is that, the longer you stay there, the more that institution drains you of that passion, replacing it with apathy. I worry that they could ruin you. But I know you can rise above it, however, I don't think you can rise above it while sitting complacently in the middle of it. Leave on your own time with joy in your heart for the smallest accomplishments (never mind the "I made you $300k" accomplishments). The little things, like certain people developing a little more nerve and standing up for you. Even your very presence and persistence bringing annoyance and fear into the heart of a person who doesn't want you there. When it's your time to go, go. Take from it the life lessons and none of the bitterness, and move on.

March 28, 2008 at 10:53 AM

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