community

alice [my roommate] and i had a good conversation last week about being intentional in regards to community.

it's interesting that one of the more noticeable things i miss about kansas is how easy community seems to come. i suppose if i look back with a more realistic lens i would say there were many periods that community didn't come as easy as i'm remembering. but now that i know how accessible/available it was in comparison to my life in l.a. ... i kind-of wish i could go back and change things.

i wish i would have developed habits of spending time with people more consistently (outside of work, school and church). i wish i wouldn't have been so concerned about money and the $3 i would 'lose' by going to a local coffee shop with friends a few times a week ... or (God-forbid) a movie or dinner with the girls.

what alice and i kept coming back to is that community requires sacrifice. back home, i was too selective. i only wanted community with a certain group of people (and they all happened to be cheap as well, so it worked out nicely). but i could have had more meaningful relationships if i tried harder.

now, my vice is time and the dreaded routine. i pride myself in being fairly unpredictable. yet, a routine may just be the thing i need in order to feel more connected.

the people in my building who have dogs know each other. they pick up their dog's poo together over good conversation and coffee in the park because their dogs require a routine that brings them together ... to pick up poo ... daily.

there are coffee shops where i make an occasional appearance where people seem to know each other because that's where they spend time each morning.

but dogs and coffee runs require commitment. and i'd rather believe that community was easier in kansas than admit that it has never been easy for me because i never really made it a priority.

kind-of a mood changer to realize i expect others to go out of their way to invite me into their lives when i haven't made significant efforts to create space for them in mine.