"No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself." -John Steinbeck
If this is true (and I believe it is for my life), then there is much work to be done.
character development
relational intelligence
commitment to others
tolerance
Question: How often do you assume that what you hate most about yourself exists in other people? More importantly, what do your relationships look like as a result of not loving yourself completely?
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5 comments:
I love this, especially the second question. How can you love someone completely without loving yourself completely?
one, has your photo always been on your blog? you are gorgeous sista!
two, i find i get really irritated and intolerant when people express the things in which i suck.
like envy, greed, lust, not serving, not being generous...
i get really ticked at them...but i think mainly because it's like looking in a mirror...but by looking at them, i'm not looking at me, and somehow that all justifies (incorrectly) in my mind.
I feel it the other way around. I'm afraid that what I hate about others infects me.
Responding in kind is a primal reaction; it sort-of just happens. Reacting in a manner consistent with your perception of yourself, that is something animals and computers cannot comprehend.
I know I have the darker potential within me. When someone else acts badly, I guess it tells my subconscious that such things are allowed. Then, when I get (verbally or emotionally) beaten back for acting badly myself, I have to realize what I was imitating before I can forgive myself.
i don't really think about the things I hate about myself existing in other people. somehow i am so critical on myself, and so compassionate towards others. i believe in others, but not myself. i love others, but not myself. i choose to see beauty and good in others, but can't find it looking inward. my heart breaks for others, but feels hollow for myself. my relationships start out well, but end up being broken, unhealthy, even abusive relationships. and then i invest everything i have in them. they are conditional, and usually validate my struggle with worthlessness. most often, my relationships are excruciatingly painful. and then there are a few who really get me, and love me. but i usually just take them for granted and focus on the shitty relationships...because i don't love myself enough to believe that i deserve better...
so theres some realness for ya.
Easy things to say. Tough things to embody. Its hard to come face to face with the ugliness inside that I've covered up in so many ways.... its even harder to have people around that are like mirrors that expose those things.
I try to be that sometimes... and sometimes it damages relationships. I once heard someone say that "leadership is a serious meddling in the lives of other people." Not sure about that, but I want to take other people's growth in my area of influence as seriously as my own.
Great quote. Great thoughts. I'll file that one for later. :)
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