"but when you ask God, you must believe and not doubt. anyone who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown up and down by the wind. such doubters are thinking two different things at the same time, and they cannot decide about anything they do. they should not think they will receive anything from the Lord." james 1

that's me. in the midst of all this poverty and oppression, there is a hint of doubt in my soul.

i see the struggles and social issues and pain of people around me and my first inclination is to devise a plan to help them. it's almost like i see them and then i immediately charge into battle to fight for what i feel they deserve.

but as i'm pressing forward, doing what i feel i should be doing ... there is a trace of confusion and doubt. will this ever be taken care of? will my contribution even help? will God show up for them in a miraculous way ... will He show up for me?

i think being here, surrounded by people who don't follow Jesus or even see Him as more than a good guy from history, reminds me of my daily struggle in l.a. i'm no longer in a cocoon of people who just know God is there for them and wants to pursue them. and i most certainly have no reason to complain about my life, i just feel that sometimes i need to know that He's talking to me. i want to walk, without doubt, and believe He has already been having conversations with the children i walk past in the streets.

i don't want to have to struggle in my attempts to talk to people about who He is and what He's done. and i feel like that's the case when i'm in places where He seems so absent.

how would you tell/show the kids in the picture who God is? suggestions are welcome ...