i was looking through a ... (ahem) better homes and gardens magazine ... yes ... and actually found myself excited about the recipes and fun organizing tips. (GASP!!!)
this newfound domestic tranquility on my train ride to work yesterday, sent me in a complete downhill mental spiral about life, marriage and being a woman this morning.
i've never been the stay-at-home type. i have friends who are great at it and enjoy it ... but, let's be honest, it was never for me. growing up in kansas made it difficult for me to feel like a "real" woman because of my "alpha male" mentality. and, again, i have to admit that, as my counterparts went to their extreme of adopting the "female" role ... i went to the other extreme so as not to be associated with anything "feminine."
i want a career. a good one. hmmm ... let's be more specific ... i want to run a company that will change the world. i want to travel and take as many opportunities to make myself as aware of the world around me as possible.
i remember being told by my not-so-friendly "friends" (who loved magazines like BHG) that i was less of a woman for not wanting children. that i would never find a guy that would tolerate, much less accommodate my ambitions.
well folks. they were right.
i've come to find that marriage isn't for "guys" lacking the maturity to nurture the creativity, talent and passion of their female partners. it takes a strong and loving man (and large doses of God's intervention) to make someone like me feel more confident about my new desire to cook a meal or two every month (ha) and decorate a home worth opening to anyone who needs it.
so today i'm redefining (again) what being a woman looks like ... to me. i'm redefining the tainted church word "submissive." and i'm not running as quickly from the idea that marriage is the first step to a life-long suffocation of childhood dreams.
this is proof folks that God is WAY more powerful than we often acknowledge.
so here's to vince ... for making me less ashamed to say that i may someday enjoy cooking ... occasionally ... and maybe even enjoy some of those other traditional traits ... occasionally ... because ... well ... i kind-of like you. and sometimes i do nice things for people i like ;)
3 comments:
possibly what you're finding out is that the lines you drew for yourself are the lines you drew for YOURSELF. What if a wildly successful business woman DOES like to cook? And what if she has her top 4 take-outs on speed dial? What if a creative, faith-driven, entrepreneur loves to think about new color palettes for her dining area? And what if she'd rather hire somebody to do it? Is one wrong and one right? Who made these rules in the first place? Why does it seem to make sense to us that anything stereotypically feminine would destroy a business woman's image? Doesn't it also make sense that now that you are establishing yourself in a new geographical and cultural community, and you have a place to live that you really love, you're really becoming interested in making that place more inviting for others?
Go for it. Without apology. Learn new skills, develop new interests. To NOT do that will render you one-dimensional. Don't cave to the lines you might have drawn back when you weren't the Queen of your own House. :)
And in related news... the mini-Krysta that lives with me has declared that she doesn't like to sing because she's decided she's a tomboy. And tomboys don't sing. I'll be showing her your post in about 13 years. :)
Welcome to the dark side.
And it doesn't mean that you are caving in to anything but your own desires.
;)
I was wondering about the sudden interest in cooking from you, but this is the thought that came into my head and I share it with you so that you can see this from the outside in. I did not think, "what is wrong with Krysta? Why is she becoming so domesticated?" I thought, simply, that you are always finding new joys to be passionate about, and I was excited that you had found another one we can have in common. :)
Oh lady...
I would gladly sit down to dinner at your table any day of the week! (I've had your red pepper soup!) I've been waiting for this for a long time!!! Take it from a stay-at-home mom who loves to cook and carefully organizes paint chips and magazine clippings- Its just different grass. And as lovely as my side of the fence can be, I couldn't survive without knowing that I get to go to your side from time to time...
We have so much in this life to feel excited about, so much to be thankful for...a trip across the world, the birth of a child, the time to read BHG on the train, or in the tub...ALONE. I am most excited about knowing that nomatter where we are, or how feminine or domestic we are or are not, we women are all making shifts in our own worlds that will create change beyond what we can imagine. But you, you are hand picked...to walk in all kinds of worlds of all kinds of people...and create change indescribable...and if you have time twice a month to cook dinner, then praise the Lord! (and invite me!)
love ya
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