i was having a particularly introverted day this past saturday. multiple feelings and events led me to crave a bit of alone time and i spent it just the way i wanted to ... in my favorite little coffee shop/bookstore, through the hills in all its green splendor and the fresh scent of rain that sent me on my way to an even larger bookstore where i quickly found my way to a spot on the stairs to read the first few pages of each book i was considering.

sounds cheesy. perhaps even lame. but it was incredible. every minute of it.

i've been waiting for this week for about a month now, for many reasons. the first: because it's my birthday week. and i like to celebrate all week, because ... well ... it's fun. i'm a little nervous that this year will bring me closer to the woes of adulthood and the ever-looming age of 30 than the youthful bliss of my childhood (cough), but i seem to be coping just fine.

the second: i leave for india in six days, which means my life is about to feel as if it has meaning again (because the daily tasks of my job ceased to provide that sense of purpose long ago). ok ok ... a little fatalistic and not surprisingly dramatic, but there is something about this trip that makes me feel alive again ... like i AM good at a few things and have the potential to be a mover and shaker in this giant world of achievers.

third: while it may be hard to believe that i struggle with divinity and spirituality, coming from such a religious background and all, it has become a rather blurry and complicated issue for me ... for which i have been craving the space and time in which to meditate. india has traditionally had a way of reacquainting me with my core while providing a healthy level of complexity in the same breath. all of these elements combined serve as a mixture for much introspection and good conversations with the God whom i am hoping is still interested in having conversations with me. and the possibility of those moments where He becomes real, makes this week so exciting.

and lastly: while 26 hours on a plane typically isn't the remedy for a good time, i enjoy having no where else to be. there are no other options. i just have to sit, write, read, contemplate. thus ... the reason for my trip to my two favorite bookstores in l.a.

so as i walked down each isle at borders, holding a small stack of leadership books in my hand and contemplating which book to open in the travel section, i remembered my friend kim had recommended a few books to me in case i came across some leisure time. hmm. i sat down in the isle and perused through my emails and found her list of recommendations. why this particular author struck my eye ... i'm not sure ... but she mentioned two of anne lamott's books. i went to the "christian" section and stood helplessly as i attempted to figure out which sub-section she may be categorized. then, i found her. face forward on an eye-level shelf. "plan b - further thoughts on faith" sounded more interesting for some reason than "traveling mercies" located conveniently to the right. so i sat on the step stool and read the first page. within the first paragraph, she had captured my heart with her sarcasm and good humored whit. i like this lady already ... i think i'll take her with me to india.

then i remembered. a friend in india wanted me to get a book for his wife (who is an aspiring writer) that he can't seem to find or have shipped to his home. he asked that i kindly look for it in the states and bring it with me. so i went in search of his email and found the author and title. the author: anne lamott.

i've never heard of this woman until about 5 minutes ago and now the entire universe seems to be pushing me towards her! which led me to think of a quote from the alchemist that i've always loved... "when you know what you want the whole world conspires with you to achieve it."

now, i wouldn't exactly say that i know what i want. and i certainly wouldn't say that this chain of events was orchestrated by the divine ... although ... i'm not ruling it out. but it did lead me to believe that maybe i know more than i'm willing to admit about who i am and what i want. and while the quote may seem a bit new-agy, it sure seemed like, at least in that moment, that the world was coming together to bring me a few steps closer to who i am and what i want.

all this to say ... it's not every day you feel the powers that be are trying to you something. so, for lack of other options, i think i'll start listening ...