Wednesday, January 14, 2009

i'll be 26.

it didn't seem depressing or frightening until now.

now it just screams, "you're closer to 30 than 20 ... what have you done with your life?"

for those of you out there who are older than i and out of your twenties, you may find the rest of this post completely juvenile ...

i think your twenties are the most most difficult years of your life ... for a few reasons:

you're trying to figure out who you are, while trying to achieve major successes in order to prove your worth as a (college graduate, new mom or dad, employee, etc).

there is also a weird juxtaposition of wanting to be back in college because life just seemed so much easier, but also feeling responsible for being an adult ... even if you feel you don't have what it takes.

and what does "being an adult" mean anyway? i'm young and if being an adult means bogging myself down with responsibilities that keep me from doing the things i love, then i'm not sure i want to grow up. who says being an adult means you have to have a secure job, own a home, start a family and build in a routine?

i'm hoping that being one year closer to thirty doesn't mean i stop pursuing adventure, mobility and the life i was created for. and to be honest, i'm not sure i want the life i'm supposed to be working towards as a "budding adult." it seems so ... blah.

then again, ask me what i'm doing in a few years. "adulthood" tends to get the best of us and i'm sure i'm not immune.

maybe your twenties are difficult because you know what is expected and you're heading in that direction, but something tells you that you don't have to follow the crowd. you just don't want to regret it later, so you're faced with risk or comfort ... and for some reason ... even in your twenties, comfort finds it's way to the forefront.

lame. i refuse. at least in my 26th year.
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1 comment:

Korey said...

I have the same sentiments about adulthood, and the things I do buy into I tell myself are for my own good, not because everyone else is doing it. It helps, but is it true? I think, if we weren't strapped to ticking time bomb-like bodies, people might feel comfortable creating their own paths. I feel that we are so constrained by time to do the "normal" things, because it runs out. After your twenties, you need to make the yes or no decision on having children. You need to decide before having children whether or not you'll be a home owner or continue to rent. Even before all of that (for most) whether or not marriage is "for you." You'll need to decide what retirement will look like and how you'll get there. If we had no such boundaries, what would we do? What would our twenties look like? Our thirties? What about the social stigmas against people who don't "act their age?" Would they disappear? Does living in your parents basement with no job make you a "loser," or simply a free spirit doing what he wants?

January 14, 2009 at 3:24 PM

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