aware

(January 17th, 2007)

Determination forges through temptations to surrender all that I know is mine. An understanding of the promises that await me demand resilience from my soul. It brings sanity to my mind while taming a heart that exudes confusion in fear that it may be broken in such a pursuit. In preparation of this moment, I am taunted by eager anticipation that begs my heart to abandon the journey itself in exchange for immediate personal gain. But the moment is not yet mine to take.

I am aware now of what my soul longs for. In my attempts to ignore my own potential for something great, I entertained the notion that perhaps these other options deserved more of my attention. But the beauty of our souls is that, after engaging in conversation regarding its deepest desire and then actively pursuing it, there will never be a moment where you will forget what it once spoke. After wandering off the original path, you will find yourself yielding, amidst chaotic confusion, to recognize a faint groan that reminds you of what still awaits.

I’m there. Following the voice as it grows louder and moving steadily toward a moment I know I was created for. It is in this hour that I know this adventure was made for me.