little ponds v. vast oceans

things have been insane lately. and by lately i mean since approximately the last weekend of july.

nonstop. draining. completely invasive of my valuable spare time. all out ... madness.

and, usually, i wouldn't have it any other way.

i mean, let's face it. when i get bored ... things just get ugly. i find it much easier to doubt my self worth when i'm not contributing to the DGP in an substantial way. and i find motivation difficult without having to multi-task 'important' details of my career and social life.

but when vince and i took a little trip to tennessee last weekend on a complete whim, i realized how worn out i've become.

in general.

i'm not sure if it was the fresh air, open roads, southern hospitality or the exciting thunderstorms we made our way through ... but something about that place made my soul at ease.

things were busy but not overwhelming. there seemed to be a rhythm to how things operated that echoed what humans should be able to thrive within. and i liked it.

i'm not sure if i'd last there for long before getting the itch to move to another big city, but it got me thinking.

maybe people here [l.a.] try to hard. i mean, i love l.a., don't get me wrong. but there is something that just doesn't seem quite right about the way things have been lately. and it made me wonder if there is more to life ... if maybe there is a happy medium. a place where all the people who have traveled the world and did their time in big cities go to live. can you imagine? a place where sojourners and adventurers and thinkers and artists go to breathe when they're content with what they've experienced.

i just wonder if there's a happy medium. that's all. and maybe that happy medium only exists in the intangible depths of your soul ... when you can make any place a place where you find peace. who knows. i'm starting to think it's a part of 'growing up' ... that weird time bomb inside my body that says it's about that time to settle down and take it easy instead of wearing the weight of the world on your shoulders and questing to 'save the planet.'

i hate that i'm even saying i may like to throw in the towel and start living a more simple life because it doesn't seem to sit right. but i do know that things are changing for me ... and i'm seeing the value in less being more. and that ... well ... that could lead to an entirely new outlook on the trajectory of this little life of mine i've been trying to strategically plan for so long.