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i've heard that what you see depends on where you sit.

that couldn't be more true for my spiritual journey.

what i saw from my comfy, predictable life in my hometown ... where everything and everyone i knew was within a 12 mile radius ... was a God who cared deeply for me. a God that was passionate about the local church and sunday services. a God that really enjoyed showing up to our church because, let's face it, we had the best music in the city and most hip, young preacher at our innovative post-modern service.

from where i sat ... God really loved me and created me to do something special for humanity. but the closer i seemed to get to Him, the more disenchanted i became with the place i had grown to know Him. it seemed so ... not-the-only-part-of-the-equation. something was missing. i just had no idea that spending more time with Him would actually place me in a different seat that would inevitably cause me to see Him in a completely different way than when i had before.

i'm not going to pretend that i've been spending a lot of time with God. because i haven't. and it's not because i don't want to ... it's just that i'm not really sure how anymore. which i've said before ... but i still think these things take time. you know ... the change paradigms.

i'm not into the idea that burying myself in the bible is going to bring the hope to humanity that Christ intended. i mean, Jesus didn't have the bible. and neither did the disciples (not sure if they were literate anyway ... which brings up a good point ... how do all the illiterate people of the world "draw near" to God?). i digress. per usual.

the point is ... i'm thinking that perhaps we're supposed to be the story of God in the present. erwin talked about this at mosaic this weekend in reference to one of our core values: mission is why the church exists. some of these comments of his got be thinking:

sometimes we underestimate what God can do for us as humans (in regards to spending so much of our spiritual journey talking about the 'after life').

when you're with Jesus, your world gets much bigger.

i don't think they [disciples] expected to care about the world.

my prayer is that i will be so connected to you that it will be easy to connect others to you. that that connection will connect us to humanity and their needs.

forgive us for replacing your presence with presentations ... intimacy with techniques.

so this is where i am. with my world being much bigger than when everything i knew was within a short drive (or walk). when everything i knew about God was housed in a church building and select christian sub-culture conferences.

i'm not saying that my world is bigger because i'm with Jesus ... although perhaps that's what has happened i just haven't quite given Him the credit yet. but i am saying that what i was hearing from Him before i moved here was that the world was much bigger than what i knew. and what i've seen and continue to experience on a daily basis requires more of me than nights alone with my bible, trendy worship services (that i won't lie ... i still have an affinity for) and small groups that meet to talk about how we can reach "them."

from where i sit ... my world needs me to show up. because, so long as i'm connected to a God who cares about humanity ... my life will be the way they know He exists. now if i could only find a way that feels most natural to me from this seat to connect ...