i have a lot to learn.

a lot.

and as much as i like to think i have it together, i am surprised at how much i've been learning from other people ... about things that i should already know. like being a good friend or be a gracious giver or helping someone out simply because it looks like they need an extra hand.

i have a friend from my masters program that overnighted a book to me so that i could have it for my first week of class. not only did she look high and low to find the book in her closet, but she didn't charge me AND made sure i had it in time.

i started to realize that my actions would not have been so gracious. i would have had the best of intentions, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to go the extra mile.

and i hate that.

i hate that it wouldn't have occurred to me and i hate that i wouldn't have kept trying to find a why to make it work so that someone else didn't have had to worry about it.

i learned from brandy this week. i learned how i could become a better person because of her generosity and thoughtfulness. and, more importantly, it revealed my natural inclination towards pessimism, for which i am not fond.

so here's to becoming a person of gratitude ... for the things that were, for the things that are and for the things yet to come.