you should know what all this make-over business is about.

we know yesterday's sudden hair change was fueled by a growing anxiety for some visible transformation to take place in the world around me. so today i am following up by explaining not only the developing look of my blog (which is far from finished) but also the unveiling of a state of mind.

my current reality is full of complexities ... much like yours.

i have a past. i have a present. and i have a future. the problem with me is that my past has conditioned me to believe that what lies ahead is not for me. these memories and reiteration of words and actions from years ago, however, have also been my motivation for pushing forward against all odds and towards a life even i thought was impossible. thus, creating new realities and possibilities.

what has come to be is not necessarily a collision (as i once thought) but a state of being. if i refer to the dreams i had five years ago, where i am today is what i would have considered then to be right in the middle of all the action.

in the middle of the life i had only dreamed to have.

and just as this life has come to be through imagination and desperate pursuit, i hope to have the same reflection in another five years of the dreams i hold today of a life that could be mine then.

so why in medias res?
in medias res, also medias in res (latin for "into the middle of things"), is a literary and artistic technique where the narrative starts in the middle of the story instead of from its beginning (ab ovo or ab initio). the characters, setting, and conflict are often introduced through a series of flashbacks or through characters relating past events to each other.

that's why. i'm not sure there is a better way to start telling my story than from where i am now. it's perfect for someone like me who tends to dream big but often allows her past to dictate the way in which she attains her wildest dreams.

so. while i will spend some time from this point forward going back in time to describe what led to my current reality, my primary objective is to document today. because, i'm starting to realize, there is little time for dwelling on the past when a greater future is waiting to be created.