i've been sitting in the starbucks on 6th and grand for a little more than an hour now. my goal was to have been well on my way to achieving a solid momentum in writing the remainder of my thesis today but things are not looking hopeful.

this thesis has caused me to think about so many things that i have disregarded, mainly because they seem a bit too complex for a normal day's worth of contemplation. so as many prepare to celebrate with their families today ... i write.

my little table in the corner is covered with papers, books and, of course, my macbook and coffee. i watch the cars go by with people in their business attire and wonder if they're dreading the next 8 hours of their day or if they're happy to have an excuse not to stay home and clean for guests tonight. then i see people in the office building next to me that are pounding away on their computers, probably trying desperately to finish their workload so they can go home early, while others seem completely un-phased that today is christmas eve. i live in a city with a heavy jewish population, so that could explain the nonchalance of some faces, but still ... there is a strong sense of unrest in the city today.

i'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to go home this weekend. to help my mom make her famous peanut butter cups and dip anything we could find in the kitchen in an endless bowl of chocolate. to see my little sister (who, by the way, is not so little anymore) try on winter formal dresses and get stressed about the perfect shoes for her new outfit. to see the excitement on my grandma's face as she showed me each corner of their new home that she has adorned in christmas decorations. to see my other grandparents laughing at their kitchen table as they recounted stories from the past week of grandma's recovery from eye surgery. and to see my best friend a week away from being full-term with her first child and her emphatically impatient husband who thinks it's ridiculous that he may have to wait a few more weeks to meet his son.

christmas has always been my favorite holiday. everything looks beautiful. the lights, the smells, the cool weather and the laughter of family and friends. and while this year has been a bit different from all the years past, i am thrilled to have had the best of both worlds this season: the joys of past memories and the reality of the future i am creating for myself here ... in l.a.

i'm excited to share my mom's tradition of delicious baked goods and my grandma's attention to aesthetic detail with her gift wrapping with vince's family and friends tonight. and as i muster up the creative energy to move forward with my thesis today, i will remember how blessed i am to have celebrated my favorite time of year with everyone i love.

merry christmas everyone!